So Nimm Denn Meine Hande...

Friday, June 02, 2006

Finally! My Blog's first convert!

Yes folks...this blog has turned from a moron writing about theology into an actual ministry! Today, this blog has turned into a fruit producing ministry of the Lord! Hallelujah!

...Well, sorta...

...Well, not really...

...Fine. I'm not sure. I'm just declaring that I have made a convert because he hasn't shown up here and he hasn't met the terms of a bet. Remember the post The Divinci Gong? Well, my as yet favorite ranting maniac, Seven Star Hand, showed up there and posted some insanities (and prompted me to put on the comment verification). So I issued a challenge. For those who don't remember, here's what it was:

If YOU can overcome ALL my doubts and offer my a systematic SUPERIOR equivalent to Christianity, then I will reject all that I have believed and give my entire being to follow you. If you can meet MY criteria, then I'll be your most devoted disciple. (Post has all the rest of the content and need to re-post that much stuff)


It's been 29 days (close enough to a month), and I'm basically calling the bet 2 days short of a one month deadline (that I didn't even set). Seven Star Hand hasn't come back, even though I DID go and download his book and I horse-whipped myself through the first chapter (70 pages of insane rambling on how he's the Messiah and Jesus is not because of his birthdate...what a freaking crock!). But now, seeing that he hasn't written anything back and hasn't responded, the Jig is up and I'd like to welcome Seven Star Hand into the flock for it's obvious to me that his silence IS an admittance of defeat and a bowing before the true Messiah; Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Well, every knee's gonna bow anywho, so I'll just pretend this one actually happened and chalk it up to election (without confirmation...I don't know who he is or where he is or if he's a real person, but if he's elect he'll be saved someday by somebody, so I'll just celebrate it now!).

Oh do I pre-baptise the pre-destined over the internet? Technology makes like SO tough! DOH! Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian

Wait a minute...I'd like to call dibs on Gordon Hinkley, Brian Warner, Tom Cruise, Milton G. Henschel, the Dalai Lama, Hu Jintao, Madonna and the whole nations of Haiti and Cuba too...just in case any of them ever get saved. Now I sound like I'm part of the third wave of the Charismatic! "LORD! I Claim JESUS BLOOD over Milton G. Henschel, president of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society!" Let's see how well that works.

I've gotta stop posting stuff while I'm on (legitimate, pharmacy purchased) drugs.


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