So Nimm Denn Meine Hande...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I'm going to get in SO much trouble for this...

...But it's a risk I'm willing to take. I'm slamming through Leonard Verduin's "The Reformers and their stepchildren" right now. I was reading and came across the quote to end all quotes. In the 5th chapter there is a long section talking about how medieval and reformational heretics (Waldensians, aong others) used to meet in house churches. Apparently they were so sneaky and covered their tracks so well that the clerics had to make up stories to explain to their bishops why they couldn't find and get rid of these "house churches" (though they apparently met everywhere but in people's houses!). Here's the excuse given by the Dean of Notre Dame at Arras as to why he couldn't round up these elusive heretics, and a little account of what happened at their ungodly services (although I don't know how he got the information, seeing that he admittedly couldn't find them for the life of him!):

When the Waldensians wish to go to their conventicle they first rub an ointment on their palms…as well as on a stick, an ointment supplied to them by the devil. Then they straddle this stick and fly to whatever place they wish to go, over cities and forests and lakes…They congregate about the tables decked with wine and bread. Devils in the form of billy-goats, or dogs or apes are present; sometimes in the form of a man…They worship these, kissing the billy-goat’s derriere, with candles in their hands…Then they tread on the cross, spitting on it despite of Jesus Christ and the holy Trinity. Then they present their buttocks to the sky, in derision of God…” - pg 175. (italics in original quote)

So, does that sound bizarre or what? Fly to church on a broom, have communion, kiss a goat's butt, clog dance and spit on the cross, then drop your drawers and moon the sky. Sounds like quite the sensual pagan ritual!

Come to think of it, I think I once went to that church...it was called "The Gathering" or something, if memory serves me correctly...hmmm. I could be mistaken. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian.

P.S. - "Present their buttocks to the sky"? Oh man. I'm going to be laughing at that for freaking weeks!

3 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer said...

Dude - do your posts never come with warning labels?! First your testamony and now this..



WARNING: Do not read the following if raucous laughter is generally prohibited or otherwise frowned upon in the location in which you are presently ocupying. Should this warning be left unheeded by choice and the following text is read, the party responsible for this literature will not be held responsible for the quizzical glances or irked glares as guaranteed guffaws are unseemly emitted from your mouth. Thank you for taking this into sober consideration.


That's all I ask for. Is it too much?

9:40 AM

 
Blogger The Armchair Theologian said...

Are you reading my bloggies at WORK? HMMMM?

1:06 AM

 
Blogger Mike said...

Haha, I enjoyed both the post and the subsequent plea for a proper warning for those of you reading Armchair's blog at work. =)

10:39 AM

 

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