Okay. I've recently been the victim of what I like to call 'the righteous dump'. This is basically when a Christian guy goes after a Christian girl in pursuit of a romantic relationship and she shoots him down. The funny thing is that Christian girls will never say 'you're not good looking enough to merrit my affections' or 'maybe if you had a Benz' or whatever. Oh no...Lots of them
think it (Don't think I'm not onto you!), but they cannot
say it for that wouldn't sound like a god-fearing woman should sound. Instead, they shoot you down in a
righteous-sounding way, or at least a way that makes the rejection sound 'spiritual'.
Gotta love the whole 'you're a great man of God but...' lines. I've gotten them before. The whole 'You're a great man of God
but blah blah blah'. Since when is the whole 'great man of God' part worth bupkiss? Do you girls think I couldn't devote myself to a life of crime and make money? Do you girls think I couldn't get on steroids, become anorexic, and become Schwarzzenegger? Do you think I couldn't become devoted to fashion (i.e. super metro), or a weekend alcoholic, or a jerk, or a drug addicted artist, or anything else that will end up sending me to hell? Of course I could! Being shallow and ignorant (and going to hell) is
easy...you just sit back and let the sinful nature produce it's rancid fruit! The thing is, I'm trying this crazy idea called
actually thinking and acting like Christ and it effects things like how I handle money, or diet, or my speech, or whatever. You see, I try to be more like Christ and less like Mike. The funny part is that all the women who apparently love Jesus so much and admit seeing him in me don't actually like
me. How does that work? If I'm so much like Christ and such an awesome man of God, should not it flow that I'd be
somewhat desirable? Sure does in my books. I know several women that are neither wealthy nor hottie, but they are amazingly desirable and their godliness is the characteristic that I find so attractive in them. If they weren't married or dating someone, I'd be chasing them like mad.
So, I've got a logical problem.
1. Either I'm actually Godly and Christlike but the few girls I've ever gone after ever have not actually liked Christ in me...which leads me to think that they don't actually love Jesus and they're pagans. Well, that doesn't
necessarily follow, but it does for now. Cause I said. Shut up.
OR
2. I'm actually
not Godly and Christlike and the few girls I've gone after have lied about how Godly and Christlike I am...which means that they are liars and Revelation 21:8 says that liars will go to Hell... so they're still pagans.
So I'd like to take this time to point out that every woman that has ever shot me down is a pagan. Well, unless...hmmm...thought in process here...AHA!
3. My third option is that I am
SO Godly and Christlike that every woman I've ever gone after has been filled with shame and embarrasment at the thought of even dating someone who was so far out of their league...especially in humility. Yeah! Kinda like the president of the school Dungeons and Dragons club ever thinking of seriously going after Britney Spears...It would work in the movies but in reality the closest he'd ever get would be the pages of *BOP!* magazine! HA HA!
SO, I'd like to take
this time to apologize to every girl whom I've ever gone after: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that a man so
far out of your league ever sought to lavish his affections upon you, you who are so absolutely unworthy. I'm sorry for the stress I caused you all. I now realize the error of my ways; I only hope that you can forgive me. I'll never throw pearls to swine again. Until Next Time,
The 'venting on a blog that nobody reads instead of public' Armchair Theologian