So Nimm Denn Meine Hande...

Friday, April 27, 2007

Speaking of the BackStreet Boys...

I was reading my bible a little while ago and noticed some other passages in the Bible that may be refering to some other celebrities. Consider the following:

Isaiah 3:16-24 anyone?

Or what about this?

Dawkins thinks he saying new and novel things when really, 2 Peter 3:3-7 foretold his coming and his arguments long ago (and the coming of all like minded people who attack Christ for no real apparent reason)

Or this clown who figured that Jesus never met up to his full potential?

The bible talks about this fella too...I think it's in Proverbs? (Notice how Proverbs puts this guy behind the backstreet boys ...HA!)

Then there's this battalion:

(I still love the "Can SOMEONE explain this book to me? PLEASE?" caption the best!)

With a goof troup this big, you'd think that the Bible would talk a fair amount about them. Well, it does! 2 Corinthians 11-12, 2 Timothy 3:1-8, 1 Timothy 6:3-5, 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12, 2 Peter 2:1-3:16, 2 John 1:7-11 all mention these deceitful workers (not to mention all the Old Testament passages that are connected to them by Peter or Matthew 7:13-27!).

Well, it's almost like the Bible is applicable to real life and stuff today.

And in all honesty, this post was really for the purpose of posting somthing new and making my first point about Britney...the rest of it is filler! HA!

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Re-post of the Backstreet Boys post...

Well, I posted this over at TheoAmigos, but I'm puttin it here too, simply becasue it entertains me so much! I was talking with Dusto tonight and we were laughing at how silly this idea was, and yet how blatantly obvious. Anyway, here's some thoughts for you all:


So you're thinking of going on summer missions with...

...The Backstreet Boys?


Apparently at least one of them is a serious, hard-core Christian who even has his own ministry...which is called "The Backstreet Boys". Yup. That pop boy-band is officially a Christian ministry...or so Kevin Litrell says:

This is awesome...Kevin Litrell giving his "testimony" on the Hour of Power.

After being in the US for almost a year, I've learned that only a Southern Baptist can look back on a decade plus career with a group like the Backstreet Boys and refer to it as "a ministry". Oh man! (Why is it that every "Christian" celebrity (Media celeb, not celebrity reformed pastor) has weaksauce theology and is somewhere on the spectrum between "fruity" and "psycho"?)

So, let's analyse the "ministry" of the Backstreet Boys and discover...


...No, I cannot do this. Their lyrics are so absolutely stupid, and I mean, consider this one song "Last Night You Saved My Life" from the album Never Gone:

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Its 3 am, I can't sleep
Too late to call this is not like me
But I'm still lifted from the tattoo on the small of your back
The angle of your chin when you were looking back

See, god you're beautiful and I'm still coming down
I'd like a one-night stand, that had to stick around
But I'm still floating on the perfume you left on my sheets
I haven't changed a thing since your goodbye to me

Tonight I stare out the window
Knowing I'll never again be alone

Last night you changed my life
And I was stuck in the moment that you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life
Last night you saved my life

Your fingernails running down my spine
All day I hear your voice like velvet in my mind
It's like I knew you all my life even though we just met
My children in your eyes, something you don't expect

I had to stop myself from calling all day long
I'm glad you called me first, I wanted to be strong
But you were laughing because I answered after just one ring
I tried to play it off
But you knew everything

Last night you changed my life
And I was stuck in the moment that you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you saved my life with your love

Last night you saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you saved my life

Ohh yeah

I stare at the sky looking for the morning sun
Can't wait to tell you you're the only one
Last night you saved my life

And I was stuck in the moment you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you changed my life

I mean, COME ON! Backstreet is "a ministry"? Let's take a quick look at this song:

1. "god" (not "God") IS mentioned in the song, but not in any sort of worshipping sense.

2. He received salvation from having a one night stand? Excuse me? Not even Scientology has theology THIS bad!

3. She left perfume on his sheets? HELLO?

Doesn't the adulteress in Proverbs 7 say:

I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.

I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. - Proverbs 7:16-17

I was going to go on and on with this, but I noticed a whole bunch of parallels with that song and Proverbs 6+7. Essentially, the Backstreet Boys are The Fool from the book of Proverbs. That's them. They're that fool! They're singing songs about basking in their own lusts with a seductress ("tatoo on the small of your back"? Hello? Isn't that called the "tramp stamp"?) and relishing in it with tight-knit harmonies.

I used to laugh at the Backstreet Boys and think they were dumb. Now I'm calling them, and every other boy band "The Fool". (Though I also like "Ev'il Campanile" [pronounced "eveel campaneel"] which is a combination of a Hebrew and Italian word [and the Italian word is mispronounced, I know!] that combine to mean "Fool's Belltower")

Here's their song:

"Let all who are simple come in here! Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!" (Proverbs 9:16-17)

Proverbs also talks about where all the boy bands end up when they have one night stands with stamped tramps:

But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of the grave. " (Proverbs 9:18)

So I'll no longer refer to the Backstreet Boys not as "a bunch of fools" but as "THE fool". ("Man, those guys are the fool!" That should get conversations going! HA!)

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Public Health Announcement from the Armchair Theologian

Man! I'm sitting in class right now, listening to a lecture on the Psalms, but my stomach is singing this song:

ARGH! The struggle between the Spirit (my will to listen about teaching about the scriptures) and the Flesh (my rumbling tummy) continues. And as I'm writing this, a huge jerk beside me pulled out a tupperware container and is currently eating some yummy looking stuff. Curse you Esparanza!

Remember to have breakfast kids; it will make a difference in work and at school. Your kindergarten teacher was right. It's the most important meal of the day.

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian

Monday, April 02, 2007

It's Another KU Cop-Out Post!

Yes siree! Lazy McLazy Pants here, posting an awesome vid! William Lane Craig, dropping bombs on the topic that he knows best. If any of my readers do not know these facts and have them committed to memory, watch this video and take notes. The bodily resurrection of Christ is possibly the most important apologetic argument out there, and something that every Christian should be able to toss out at a moments notice.

I hope that this ku stuff encourages my 5 readers. I love it when Dub L.C. (his rap name) drops bombs like this. He's the shibbie. (Unfortunately, he kinda goes nuts when he starts talking about God's relationship to time and eternity, but you can't have it all! HA!)

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian