My Personal Add...

Yeah. I was recently thinking of putting a joke personal add on some "Christian singles" site. Here's what I wrote:

"Unemployed ex-slave gone slave (purchased by new master), recently brought back from the dead, adopted into a royal family of several million siblings, possessionless but has an infinite inheritance coming, currently living in a dive but soon moving into a house of solid gold, often speaks to an invisible friend that invented the water (among other things), currently spending tens of thousands of dollars per year training for a job that will most likely pay ten thousand dollars a year, recently became immortal, regularly eats flesh and drinks blood in a ceremony involving thousands of people, believes the earth is 6,000 years old and the Grand Canyon was formed in a few months, constantly fights with demons by folding hands and reciting a 2,000 year old religious text, hopes to eventually get married to God but currently seeking to emulate a resurrected Jewish carpenter who was born but never conceived, seeking like minded woman for loving relationship. Please direct all inquiries to 818-558-xxxx"

I'm not sure though. Does that accurately describe me? I should probably throw something in about cessationism, just to be sure! HA! And can you imagine what would happen if I put that on a NON-Christian 'singles' site? OH MAN! I'd have some crazy witches wanting to talk about "what it's like to be immortal" or some crazy Luciferians (not Lutherans) wanting come to the 'flesh eating ceremony'! HA! HA!

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian