So Nimm Denn Meine Hande...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

If one post is good...

...then TWO posts are better! I originally posted this on my *other* blog, but seeing as I just got a publication deal with Banner of Truth Trust, I figured that I'd post it here too. Coming to a bookstore near you (and probably immediately to a corresponding bargain bin shortly after)

You all remember Dan Brown's theological classic "The Davinci Code"? Well, I've got something new that combines a more conservative, "Left Behind" view of scripture (well, kinda) with the science of "Jurassic Park". "Oh it comes" is probably what you're thinking, and rightly so. HA!

So today, in an anonymous class, we were hammering through some issues in Exodus, specifically some of the issues regarding the plagues of Egypt. And I got thinking again. Oh dear.

So we were talking about the plagues, that they occured exactly in the way that the Bible gives account, right? When Exodus says that the "Nile turned to blood" and whatnot, it actually turned into real blood (and if anyone wants to debate this stuff, feel free. I will STILL respond via freestyle rap though). Anyway, what does blood have in it but hemoglobin, t-cells, etc. and DNA. So how does this relate to the Exodus? Well, that's where my new Christian fiction novel would take over.

Imagine some biblical archeologist finds pot with blood in it (or in a bucket...or whatever. I'll sort out the fact later). Anyway, through some sort of realistic sounding archeological 'pot dating' mumbo-jumbo the archeologist says "Eureka! This jar is most likely from the time of the exodus, so this blood must be blood from the first plague!" (or something along those lines)

Then, he takes the blood from the pot into the lab and gives it to a hematologist or some sort of professor Fink character who then says "Dave (my archeologist), this blood has DNA in it!" Then, against government mandates and in an illegal underground lab, they make a clone from the DNA in the blood from the first plague! So, who do they find in the cloning chamber when the clone comes full term and comes to life? I'm open to ideas. I'm currently thinking:

1. Jesus.
2. Moses.
3. Aaron.
4. Adam.
5. Eve
6. Melchizedek
7. A Tyrannasaurus
8. Pharaoh himself!
9. The Rock (playing the role of a Nephilim)
10. Creflo Dollar
11. John MacArthur (HA!)
12. Colonel Saunders (Who also turns out to be Melchizedek...I'd think that would be the funniest.)
13. The Angel Gabriel (probably also played by the Rock)

Any other good ideas? I like the idea of it being God's DNA (it's a religious fiction novel...shut up you!), and the blood from the nile ends up matching a sample taken from the shroud of turin, leading to this massive conspiracy that is covered up by the Catholic Church to prove that Jesus WAS God. "But why would the Catholics cover THAT up?" For that you'll have to read the book. Sounds like a real page turner! Until Next Time,

The Armchair Theologian

P.S. - Religious Fiction Novel.

P.P.S. - Sometime this weekend we'll return to our regularly scheduled posts. I had a Bible study retreat last weekend and it was great, but I kinda got behind on homework and whatnot. Also, I've been spending too much time on one other blog, (pulpit Magazine Blog...good blog though) but I am going to shift gears and work on finishing my cessationism posts before Christmas. THAT is something that I might actually look at publishing! HA!


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